That's a Bit Gay!

Mmmm, juicey!

I never thought I’d ever come across it, let alone even think it existed… But yes, spunky cum is around – well and alive – unlike the dead animal it tastes and smells like. What the hell do you do in this situation, and how the HELL does it happen? Maybe you shouldn’t do what I did…

The thing was, I saw it coming… a small waft coming from below, but thinking “oh, sometimes things just don’t smell right… It’ll be ok…” How wrong I was! Just a small taste sent me second guessing whether I wanted to go down there again, but after thinking “well, I spose he did go down on me” I went back down. I didn’t, however, have this grotesque odour coming from my man-region.

After a second go, and nearly throwing up all over his dick, I said, “That’s enough!” and reached for the juice on my bedside table [ironically, being pineapple]. “What’s wrong man?” he asked. “You’ve got SPUNKY CUM?!”… “what? Does it smell?”, “YEAH! Taste it for yourself, man!” I exclaimed. There was no way I was going to let him get away without testing it. “Oh, it is kinda bad, isn’t it?” “YEAH!” That was the end of that!

We all know Pineapple juice apparently improves the taste of cum – party why I have a glass every morning – and after doing some research, it seems there might be some other ways to improve one’s ‘maker of babies’.

- Higher red meat and dairy intake may increase its generally salty taste
- Asparagus notoriously causes bitterness, while parsley, celery, cinnamon, and many kinds of tropical fruit are noted to sweeten it
- Apparently heavy smokers and coffee drinkers’ cum is unpleasant
- One person told me their vegetarian boyfriend’s cum wasn’t particularly great either [testing still underway on this one…]

So there you go. If you don’t want someone repulsed by your cock and its juices, maybe you should do a bit of research – it’s not as if we haven’t tasted our own before! [and I KNOW I'm not speaking for myself here – I’ve done THAT research as well!] So until next week, eat, drink and cum merrily!