In the past week I’ve come across some real deal-breakers. Now, one could say I’m being fussy here, but there are just a few things I can NOT deal with. Sure there are your usual deal-breakers like, he wears socks to bed, or he calls his parents ‘Mummy’ and ‘Daddy’, but this week I’ve noticed I might be a little bit of a stuck up bitch.
It all began when I stayed over at a boys place, and he switches on Sunrise first thing in the morning. Sunrise!? I thought the only people who loved Mel and Kochie that much were our ‘friends’ out in Caroline Springs.
The next day I was having a heated discussion with a gay atheist young liberal. I was shocked, but if you think that’s bad enough, he continued to call The Age the “Spencer Street Soviet” and called Catherine Deveny’s writing “too sarcastic, boring dribble”. WHAT?! NO ONE mouths off Deveny and gets away with it.
He continued to defend people who choose to stay in the closet. I closed the chat window.
The same thing happened a week ago at a voting booth. I met a VERY attractive boy handing out how-to-vote cards for the Liberal Party. What a shame… After we got chatting, it turns out he was gay AND religious! The poor thing! He had no chance. I planned to meet him at The Peel that night anyway…
This got me thinking, what else classes as a deal-breaker?
- Sneaks you in the house to avoid his mother? Deal-breaker
- Owns mint condition Pokemon action figures? Deal-breaker
- Has “Sex on Fire” as a ringtone? Deal-breaker
- Likes the song “Sex on Fire”? Deal-breaker
- Has a personalised ringtone? Deal-breaker
- Born-again Christian? Deal-breaker
- Reads the Herald Sun? Deal-breaker
- Loves Crown Casino? Deal-breaker
… really, we could go on all day…
So, am I being a picky bitch, or is there a point where you go – NUP! That’s ENOUGH!?
What are your deal-breakers, people!?
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Hi,
It’s David James Koch. My nickname is spelt “Kochie”
You may like to correct the error in your website blog.
Thank you
PS: I know the person you are referring to and he is our Melbourne based culture promoter & our number one Sunrise family member!
It sounds like you were chatting to Christopher Pyne. Gay atheist Liberal in the closet? haha.
Yeah, Christians and or Daily Telegraph readers (in the non-ironic sense) are definite deal-breakers.
Reality TV show addicts (exceptions limited to RuPaul, naturally)
And then there’s the obvious ones: Racists and people who define them selves as “str8 acting”.
Hi Kochie. Thanks for the correction. Sorry about that.
Deal breakers? Really ugly ppl! Sorry to sound shallow, but I could never make out with a girl who is ugly or hairy *shudders* I’m a girl myself btw. When will you be on Naughty Rude next? Its always awesome when youre on there, coz its not all straight talk.
Deal breakers? Really ugly ppl! I know it sounds shallow, but I could never make out with a girl whose really ugly, or hairy *shuuders* and I have a horrible one like that following me around too. I’m a girl btw. When will you be on Naughty Rude next? Its always awesome when you’re on there, coz its not all straight talk (actually it seems like its barely any straight talk when youre on- go gayness!)
Thanks for raping one of the best sitcoms left on television by incorporating it into your sprawling slut-blog.
my dealbreakers include:
1. people who write terrible blogs full of bad prose about their obnoxious egotistic sexual exploits
2. People who have slept with someone who write terrible blogs full of bad prose about their obnoxious sexual exploits.
3. People who enjoy reading terrible blogs full of bad prose about the author’s obnoxious egotistic sexual eploits
4. People who like to put on an aura of authority when it comes to sexuality and sexual and feel that they need to inform the world of the correct way to approach said issues.
5. People who call themselves columnists.
GOSH I COULD LIST MORE.
Has considered James Findlay Attractive – Deal Breaker
Has slept with James Findlay – Deal Breaker
Thinks James Findlay is talented – Deal Breaker
Thinks James Findlay is Carrie Bradshaw – Deal Breaker
Has considered James Findlay for a boyfriend – Deal Breaker
Someone who ruins 30 rock – deal breaker!
You get the just
Hey Adam,
Thanks for taking time out of your precious, busy schedule to go out of your way to insult me. I hope you have getting what you wanted out of it.
Glad you love reading the blog every week too
Cheers,
James x
… and Shane! Liking me to Carrie Bradshaw? I’m flattered!
James xx
What’s it like living in a delusion? I’d like to try it sometime.
Mr Findlay,
Do you think it’s fair to judge people on their beliefs?
Especially as something so trivial as what newspaper they like or what venue they attend for a meal/entertainment
Surely your sex life is not so ‘busting at the seams’ that you can afford to be so picky with men.
Albeit, your blog after this speaks about your reliance on porn.
I think you need to take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror – with clothes on!
Enough said.
Dr Feelgood
Hey Dr Feelgood,
Perhaps I haven’t made it obvious enough how firmly tongue-in-cheek I am here… Perhaps you could get me on your radio show, and we can discuss this further? Or even appear on my program with Dean Beck on JOY 94.9 – Hide and Seek – exploring sex, sexuality and self.
Cheers,
James x
Leave him alone you bitches! Dont you realise thats its not all serious, like he said, its tongue in cheek! Geez, some people need to take a break. Plus, he’d be a lot younger than all you guys. Pick on someone your own age and maturity!
Oops, i thought it didnt work the first time. sorry 4 double posting
How did I miss this Blog???
Ohh Deveny makes my Saturdays!! and i am not impressed with her substitue whilst she is on holidays!! FAIL AGE FAIL
Guys wearing nail varnish – that’s a deal breaker.
What that says to me is, “I want to wear nail polish but I don’t want to give you the impression that I’m THAT out there.”
So here’s me wearing nail varnish that you can barely notice unless you’re staring at my hands when the sun hits it at a certain angle.
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